Re-post in Honor of World Autism Awareness Day -The Call, A Dad's Story

In recognition of World Autism Awareness Day I wanted to share a post I wrote last May about the day that Caroline and I found out about Charlie's Autism Diagnosis. It is a day I will never forget. But I will also remember how much Charlie has progressed from that day. In fact, at his recent 5 year old checkup, Charlie brought his pediatrician to tears with how well he is doing. How great that made us feel!

Alas, we are not alone in having gone through a diagnosis and we aren't the last people to have to have gone through it. I wanted to share this again for those who may be going through a diagnosis now or may know someone going through it. What helped us getting through the initial shock of the diagnosis was the support of families we know who had been there and done that. I can't thank those families enough. With that in mind, I will say my phone line is always open if anyone knows of someone going through a diagnosis that may have questions and want support. Plenty of people have helped Caroline and me and we are both always happy to return the favor. Without further ado....

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There is a new story out this week on a new study that has found that pediatricians are dismissing the parents of their patients concerns about their children's growth.  See Story Here. As I will cover in a future blog, these parents should go with their guts and push their doctors. Early intervention works wonders as we can attest to with Charlie. I will say though, we were lucky. We didn't have to push our doctor. She was astute enough to catch it on her own.

Reading the story got me thinking back to August 31, 2012. Charlie was supposed to have his normal 18 month appointment on August 31, 2012. We were a couple of months behind on that since Charlie was actually 20 months but that wasn't a big deal. For all we knew, it was just going to be a routine appointment and we would only get news that all was well. Of course, it didn't happen that way.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at my desk working on a brief when my phone rang. I saw it was Caroline and picked up the phone expecting her report that Charlie was developing normally and I was excited to hear where his height and weight compared to other children his age. Of course, it didn't happen that way.

I picked up the phone and could instantly tell something was wrong. Caroline was crying and her voice was stuttered. I quickly asked what was the matter hoping Caroline was just overreacting about something. Of course, it didn't happen that way.

The news. Caroline told me that Dr. Lowe, our pediatrician, thought that Charlie was autistic. Turns out that Charlie massively failed the MCHAT that should be routinely taken by parents at their children's 18 month appointment. This news shocked me. I didn't know how to respond to Caroline. My instant response was "How does she know at this age? How could she know at this young age? She must be wrong." I must admit that I was even mad at the doctor for telling me something was wrong with my child.

However, truth be told, I think I had known for a couple of months that something was not quite right. Caroline and I never talked about it at the time to each other but we both had our private concerns. Charlie had cousins and friends close in age to him. It was pretty clear that Charlie was not developing as quickly as those peers. But whenever that topic came up, the response was always the typical "Every kid just develops at their own pace." The questions still lingered for me. I remember lying on the couch privately one evening and looking at what the signs of autism might be.  I was worried by what I found. What I saw was that things Charlie was doing and wasn't doing were things that were red flags for autism. Charlie didn't have much language. Charlie didn't play with toys appropriately. Charlie didn't point for things he wanted. Charlie didn't bring toys to us that he wanted to play with. But, there were things that Charlie did do that signaled it wasn't autism. Charlie made eye contact with us. Charlie was a smiley child. Charlie was a social child. Given these things that he was doing right and my fear of autism at the time, I concluded it must not be autism. Since I had reached that conclusion, I was too scared to even bring my concerns up with Caroline.

Back to August 31, 2012, I was stunned when I hung up the phone. I didn't know what to do. I have always had a very close relationship with my parents and my brother. I decided I would call my brother first and share the news with him. Eric's daughter is 6 months older than Charlie so I figured he would understand. I got a very supportive response from Eric but I still wasn't right. I then decided to call my parents, including my Mom who tends to be an over-worrier (sorry Mom), and let them know. They too were very supportive though I think we were all in shock. I remember my Mom's words were "if he is autistic, he is autistic. We will just work with it and love him anyways." The right words for a Mom to use, but, of course, I was still in shock. Next I talked to a co-worker whose sister-in-law had experience teaching AU classes.  He was also supportive and assured me all would be ok.  But, again, I still was in shock. At that point, I didn't really even know what autism was. Sadly enough, and I will admit this, at that point in my life the only thing I knew about autism was from the movie Rain Man. Boy, was there so much more to learn.

Having received this news, my work day was over. August 31 was the Friday of Labor Day weekend. I was working on a brief that I needed for a hearing the following Tuesday and I was almost done with that brief. But, chances of me being able to concentrate on that were over. I explained to the partner I was working with on the case what had happened and explained that I would complete the brief by the time of the hearing. He too was supportive, but I still was in shock. I decided to go home for a little while so Caroline and I could talk about it, but truth be told we didn't know what to say to each other. We were both in shock.

Eventually, I came back to my office and just stared at my computer screen for a while, not really knowing what to say or do.  After a while of that, it was time to learn. I am a firm believer in that google is a terrible thing for any diagnosis, but I was ready to learn. Thankfully, there are some good and quick resources on the internet for information on autism. Even more important than what I found on the Internet, I remembered that I had noticed on Facebook that I had a friend who was also an attorney who had a child with autism. That afternoon I called him just to ask questions. It was at that point that I started to learn what a good and supportive autism community exists in Guilford County. This friend was willing to talk with me and provide information about what was out there for us to learn and use. Not only was he willing to talk on the phone, he instantly suggested that Caroline and I have breakfast with he and his wife so we could talk about it in more detail.  This was one of the first major turning points. Instantly learning there was a support system of our peers in place was a game changer. Quickly I learned that we weren't alone. There were other families in positions similar to us out there who we could compare stories with and get advice from based on their actual experiences with a child who had similar differences as our child.  If you haven't been in that situation, you can't really know what a big deal and a comfort that is to a family going through this experience.

After getting the comfort that we weren't alone, it was time to mobilize. I was a month away from running the Chicago Marathon. I did a little checking and found that OAR, the Organization for Autism Research, had a group running the marathon. I contacted them and asked if I could join the team. Of course they were glad to help me.  The reason I found this an attractive possibility was that it provided me with an avenue to tell our friends and family the news about Charlie in a manner that didn't ask for sympathy but rather asked for support. After joining the OAR team, I sent an e-mail to friends and family to explain what had happened and to ask for their financial support in raising money for OAR through my upcoming run.  What an experience this was. Again, we didn't receive sympathy, which there was no need for. Instead, we received an outpouring of support in the form of e-mails in donations that topped $2,000.00 in less than 2 weeks. Again, Caroline and I learned, we weren't alone.

This has gotten very long but that is only because I have very vivid memories of August 31, 2012. I can wrap those memories up into three points of advice.

 1. Don't be afraid to confront concerns you may have about your children. That fear is not going to help your children so don't ignore it in hopes that it will disappear.  Instead, addressing the concerns and tackle the problems that may exist.  That is really what is going to make a difference. As I look back now, the anger that I had directed towards Doctor Lowe on August 31, 2012 has taken a 180 degree turn and I have great gratitude that she had the foresight to spot Charlie's issues.  It is because of that foresight that Charlie has been in therapy since a very young age and has made the great strides that he has made.

2.  Know that if something happens you will not be alone. Unfortunately most families don't go through life with a perfect scorecard of things happening to them. One of the best things Caroline and I have done for our sanity and for Charlie's well-being since his diagnosis has been getting plugged into the local autism community. In our case, the autism community is a great way to learn what resources are out there and how to set your child up for the most success and the best programs.  Not only that, it is also a community where you can share experiences and stories with those in similarly situation positions. What value there is to that?

3.  Ask for support, not sympathy.  Bad things happen to us. That is unfortunate, but also true.  It would be great if we could just close our eyes, feel sorry for ourselves, get some sympathy and the bad things would go away. That would be great, but the world doesn't work that way. Instead, I think it's better to ask friends and family members for support when these things happen.  Use that support to be active and deal with the bad things that happen and make the most out of them. It has certainly worked that way for us as we are almost 3 years from Charlie's diagnosis and with the support of family and friends we work through roadblocks every day and see Charlie flourish.

My Final Pre-Primary Post- Differences For Voters in District 3 to Consider

The day is almost here. Primary Day is next Tuesday, March 15. At that point, win or lose, the primary season will be over. Before we get there, I thought it would be good to write a little bit about what distinguishes me from my opponent. I have tried my best to take the high road in this campaign and focus on (i) issues directly relating to our schools and (ii) attributes that I have that make me a good candidate rather than mentioning what I see as the weaknesses of my opponent.  Even though I am going to comment on the differences between my opponent and I in this post, I will continue to take the high road and focus on myself rather than showing my opponents weaknesses in this post. I hate to have to mention that I am doing this in my post, but I felt it necessary because it speaks to the type of campaign that I have tried to run. 

As a starting point, if you are interested in seeing a non-biased analysis of the two candidates in my race, take a look at this week’s write up in the Triad City Beat. A link to the article is here.  I believe the writer did a good job of capturing views from both of us while also providing some good and important facts about our backgrounds that show ways that we are different.  Like I said, I encourage all District 3 voters to take a look at the article for a non-biased analysis.

Getting back to my writing, I would start by pointing out that when I got into this race I really didn't have a clue how to run a campaign. When I made the decision to get into the race, I hadn't worked on a campaign before let alone run for elected office before. I knew this may lead to a bit of a disadvantage in the name recognition game. But, I wasn't going to let that hold me back. You see, I jumped into the political fray because I wanted to make a difference for kids, like my kids, in Guilford County. I didn't jump into this race because I had a great desire to be in public office. I didn't jump into this race because I have a great love for politics. Simply put, I got into this race because I wanted to do what I could to make our schools better for our children.  And you know what, I believe that my message has resonated with the folks that I have met and spoke with.  I have been very encouraged by the body language I see from the audiences when I speak and the comments that I get afterwards.  Over the course of the past couple of minds, I know I have convinced some people who knew my opponent before I got into the race that I am the better choice. And, I take heart in that fact.

I have been at this for several months now and have spoken on several panels with my opponent and I can't say for sure why he is in the race. I have heard him say lots of different things and he may very well have some good reasons for running, but what I can promise you is that I feel very strongly that his reasons for running are not as good as mine.  I'd ask you to focus on why I am running when you go to the ballot box.  I have attempted to set out those reasons why I am running in my previous posts.  I'd urge you to look back at my prior posts and read about what I see as my heightened sense of empathy that drives me in my campaign.

For ease of seeing what I stand for in this election, here are links to my prior posts:

Why Voters Should Vote for Me for District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 1)

What I Will Do If I Am Elected to the Guilford County School Board-Implementing the Say Yes Student Support Programs

Why Voters Should Vote for Me for District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 2) and What I Will Do If I Am Elected (Part 2)- Just a Hint, I Am Not One To Give Up

Why Voters Should Vote For Me For District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 3)- I am a Dad, and not just that, I am an Autism Dad.

A Request and What Will I Do If I Am Elected to the Guilford County School Board (Part 3) - Accountability Without Making Excuses

Why Voters Should Vote for Me For District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 4)- Character

A Post By Caroline Pearce

I'd urge you to look at my campaign material and see how I have spoken about how I think we need to refocus the schools priorities back to our classrooms and build bonds between teachers, students, and parents so we have fully engaged teams working to provide every student with a quality education. I would even point out that I have heard my opponent reiterate several of my points during panels after I have made the points in previous writing or speaking opportunities.  I have taken this as the ultimate sense of flattery that my opponent apparently liked my ideas enough that he thought he would adopt them for his own.  

Another place where I believe there is a difference between my opponent and I is our records of making a difference in the causes with which we have become involved.  I encourage the voters to look at my record before they go to the ballot box.  You can look at my opponent's record as well if you like, but I ask that you focus on me. When the voters look at my record, they will see that I have a record of being a successful parent advocate.  This is exemplified by my recognition as Autism Speaks National Parent Advocate of the Year (I know I have mentioned this several times but I mention it again because I am very proud of the award). When the voters look at my record, they will see that I have a record as a leader, not a follower.  This is exemplified by my recognition as one of the Triad's 40 Leaders Under 40.  When the voters look at my record, they will see that I have a record as an accomplished attorney.  This is exemplified by my recognition from Super Lawyers as a "Rising Star," by Business North Carolina magazine as a "Young Gun," and by NC Lawyers Weekly as an "Emerging Legal Leader."  Hands down, I believe if voters run a comparison of the records of my opponent and I, the voters will see I am clearly the better choice for District 3.

A third place where I believe there is a difference between my opponent and I is our professional experience.  While I certainly do not believe that our school board should be comprised of all lawyers, I do think that my professional experiences would bring an asset to the school board that my opponent cannot bring.  As a commercial real estate attorney I understand the intricacies of facility construction, financing and maintenance. My knowledge and experience in this regard will provide valuable when the school board is required to make decisions relating to facilities and these decisions are required a lot.  As a litigator I understand that just about every action has certain effects and risks and I know how to evaluate that risk when a decision is required to be made.  If I am elected, I will not just have to rely on the School Board's legal counsel when tough decisions are required. Instead, I will be able to conduct my own analysis in order to determine what should or shouldn't be done. 

This is getting lengthy so I am going to stop.  But before I do, I hope that the voters in District 3 will really investigate the candidates before they vote. I hope the voters won't just go with the person whose name they have seen on the ballot before or the person who has a relative who is in office. No, I hope the voters will look at the both of us and make an informed choice. If the voters will do that, I have no doubt that they will see that I am the better choice for District 3.

A Post By Caroline Pearce

I have forwarded many of Brian’s posts about running for the Guilford County Board of Education and I have been to many events in his support, but I have never really written about why I am excited to support his candidacy.  I know what you are thinking, of course you would support him! After all, he is your husband. 

Brian would be the first to tell you that we have the type of relationship where we freely discuss the pros and cons of what either of us wants to do and come to a family decision.  Brian knew and has known that if I didn’t think Brian running for the Board of Education was a good idea then I would not have held back my thoughts or opinions with him and I would have worked to convince Brian not to run.  But that didn’t happen. I agree with the reasons Brian is running all of his ideas to better our schools and I wanted to tell you why.

Brian wants to be a voice for the parents.  I have been that parent and the person that has had a passion or concern and been standing on the sidelines (or at a meeting) and felt my thoughts, feelings and needs were not being heard.  I have been the momma bear that would do anything to protect and help my child. But I can only yell so loud and go so far if no one is there to listen, understand and voice my concerns on the other side.  I, of course, have had most of my experiences with my son, who is on the autism spectrum, but I recognize that all families have their own personal struggles with issues that their own children have to overcome.  I know that my husband is empathetic to all of these struggles and that he will have the desire to hear and understand and act upon the needs of those who choose to bring their struggles to the Board of Education for resolution.  Brian is just that type of person. He is willing to fight for these who need someone fighting for them.

         Brian has a high level compassion for others.  Brian put himself out in the forefront of being an advocate for insurance reform for children with Autism in North Carolina.  What most people don’t understand and don’t know is that our family already had coverage for our child’s therapies under our insurance plan when Brian was in the lead in this fight.  Brian is not a “because I am okay, then everything is okay” kind of person.  No, instead of stepping out of the fight when we had coverage, Brian spent countless hours driving back and forth to Raleigh and speaking to whatever members of the General Assembly would listen to him.  During the fight for coverage, Brian ruffled the feathers of those who opposed the change or were willing to accept a less than perfect resolution, but he only did that because he saw the importance in fighting for a law that would provide every child with the type of insurance coverage that they deserved.  Brian believes the same with education.  Every child, no matter what their background is or what abilities they have, deserves an exceptional education. Brian will go to bat for all of our children and fight to make sure they are receiving a quality education in a safe place. 

     Brian has integrity and character.  I think sometimes these important qualities get overlooked in this day and age.  In this age where we have all of the horrible name calling and bashing of people, we see negative headlines or hear negative comments and think “I’m not surprised, that is just how people are these days”.  Why does it have to be that way?  When did we as a society stop caring about upholding good morals and ethical practices?  People like to think that if it doesn’t affect them directly then it doesn’t really matter, but it does.  If we don’t hold the people we trust to make decisions about or children’s future to a high standard, then what have we become? After all, how you act when you think no one is looking, should be how you act when everyone is looking.  I have never questioned my husband’s character or his loyalty to our family, friends, or his work.  I know that you wouldn’t have to question him either.

I just want to sum up by saying again that I am out there with my husband pushing to get him elected, not just because he is my husband, but because I think he is the best candidate for the job.  I am picking him because I trust in his ability to make every child’s education be the best in Guilford County.  

Why Voters Should Vote for Me For District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 4)- Character

Character. One simple word that means so much.  I typed "character" in dictionary.com just to see what it came up with and there were a couple of responses that I really liked because I think they define it well:  "the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing;" "moral or ethical quality;" and "qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity."

On a larger scale we are seeing so much about the character of the different Presidential candidates as we see more and more of their personalities as there are more and more debates.  In these debates we hear lots of lines but not an entirely large amount of substance.  We hear, I think, even less substance than we think because on that level any positions being taken by the candidates have likely been vetted numerous times so we can't be sure that the candidates are actually endeared to the positions or if they are just trying to tell people what they think the people want to hear. Therefore, what I try to get out of the debates is a snapshot of what kind of character each of these people has so I can determine if they have the character that I think is necessary to lead our country.

On my level, I think character is an extraordinarily important aspect of each and every race for School Board.  We need the right people who have the right character to make the tough decisions that our School Board faces. We need people who are students can see as people who are honest and have high moral and ethical quality.  We need people who reflect well as the leaders of our schools to prospective companies that are looking at our market.  These companies that want to bring jobs to our market want to see a good education system.  They look at the School Board when doing their reviews.  We need people we can trust.

I loathe being a braggart but I like to think I have the character that is right for the Guilford County Board of Education.  I think I have the qualities of honesty and courage along with the morals to bring about a difference to our schools.  I think I have had the experiences in life that have shaped me to bring me to the position where I think I have the right character to lead our schools.  You see, in my 37 years of life I have been through a lot of different experiences.  Those experiences have served to shape me in ways both good and bad.  The experiences have taught me what is and has been good about me.  The experiences have also taught me about what has not been so good about myself.  When I have recognized what has not been so good about myself I have worked hard to change myself for the better.  When I have made a mistake, and I am happy to say I have not made any huge mistakes that carry large consequences, I have recognized my mistake, served my punishment, and learned from my mistake.

All in all, I believe these numerous experiences or groups of experiences have shaped my character. These experiences will allow me to become a more effective and better member of the Guilford County Board of Education.  I could go on for a long time about all of my character traits, good and bad, but I won't.  Instead, I wanted to explain how two experiences and one group of experiences would guide me as a member of the Board of Education.

The first experience that I would share is that I was bullied as a student.  It's not something that I like to talk about that often but I am not scared to say that I was the brunt of a lot of jokes growing up through school.  None of the jokes were too mean in the big picture, but they were constant and they were often times more than just good-natured ribbing between kids.  I became pretty good at laughing off most of the jokes and taking them in stride, but that didn't mean they didn't bother me. In fact, for a period, I think the jokes made me a worse person because they made me put up a wall that made me not as nice as I should have been.  I think this was the case because in many ways, these jokes led to self-esteem issues that I battled with for some time.  I think I have been able to put those issues behind me and now I recognize what an awful thing that bullying can be. I have seen and felt firsthand what damage bullying can do to people. So, how has this shaped my character? I think going through the bullying I went through, among other things like having a child with autism, has led me to have the heightened sense of empathy I have written about in a previous blog. It has made me see that people need help in a lot of cases and that I need to do what I can to be that help.  It has made me see that everyone deserves to get the help that they in fact need.  In the school setting, every child needs to be given a fair chance for an education where they are not being put through a silent torture.  If I am elected to the Guilford County Board of Education, I will make sure we keep this bullying issue at the forefront.  If I am elected, I will make sure we are constantly addressing the bullying issue and making sure that every Guilford County student has a safe and positive experience at school where they realize they can enjoy their education. 

The second experience that I would share is that I have gone through the process of losing a parent to cancer.  Too many people I talk to these days have gone through a situation similar to the one that I went through in 2013 when I lost my father at an all too young age to lung cancer. Saying a final good bye to my Dad I told him all about how much he did for me and what a difference that he had on my life.  In fact, at the very end I told him it was ok for him to go and be at peace because he had provided me with everything that I could ever ask for as a son. So how did this experience change my character? Well, it has made me realize that I have some large shoes to fit so that I can match that what my Dad did for me. I now feel an obligation to make sure that my kids can say the same thing to me whenever it is time for me to move on.  I work every day to make sure my kids can say that I have done everything they could have asked for to make their lives better.  In my mind now part of that work is trying to become a member of our Board of Education so that I can improve their educations. I can promise that my character will drive me to continue the fight because I will not give up on my kids or on any of our other Guilford County students.

The third experience that I would share is more of a group of experiences rather than any particular experience.  I like so many other kids have been let down numerous times by people who have not been true to their words.  In fact, may be even a little more because for awhile this was one of the tactics that kids used to bully me.  For awhile, in fact, some kids thought it was funny to invite me over to play with them and then hide as though they weren't home.  This has had a lasting effect on me. I am sure I am not alone in this phenomenon but I can say that it has had a distinct impact in me. I now have no time for people who are not true to their word and I am not going to be one of those people.  I believe one of my biggest and strongest character traits is that I am a man who will do what I say I am going to do. One of my favorite sayings is "My word is my oak" and I truly believe that. As such, I promise I will bring that character trait to the Guilford County Board of Education. 

I could go on further, but I know this is getting long so I will stop.  But I do ask that as the voters make their choice in District 3, I hope that they will keep Character in mind.  If they do so, I believe they will find that I have the Character that is necessary for the job.

A Request and What Will I Do If I Am Elected to the Guilford County School Board (Part 3) - Accountability Without Making Excuses

My request will follow but I want to start with Part 3 of "What Will I Do If I Am Elected to the Guilford County School Board."

Last night, February 17, 2016, I attended my first candidate forum that included not just Republican candidates for the Guilford County Board of Education, but also Democrat candidates for the Guilford County Board of Education. There were plenty of new faces on the panel and new ideas were presented. One thing that surprised me with the forum was that it was a lot more chippy and a lot more political than the other forums that I have attended.  I guess this shouldn't surprise me since this is politics but for some reason it did and I thought I would expound upon my disappointment with that. 

A lot of the chippiness appeared to derive from the dynamic of having sitting school board members on a panel with non-sitting school board members.  This dynamic should not have surprised me either, I guess, because I have noted the chippiness and negative attitude that has come out of the one incumbent who has been making the rounds in the forums I have been attending.  It is as if the incumbents are so beaten up at this point that they feel like they have to constantly make excuses for why our schools are not in better shape than they are rather than putting forth ideas of how to improve the schools.  I don't know how many times I heard the phrase "attack on our schools" come out of one of the incumbents. I also don't know how many times I heard the phrase "we don't have control of that" come out of one of the incumbents. These negative attitudes bothered me. I understand that these folks are also saying they care about our kids and that they want to make a positive change, but I feel they are held back in making this change by their excuses and negative attitudes. 

I can promise you that if I am elected I will not bring a negative attitude to the Board of Education and I will not provide excuses for non-performance.  I am a person that calls a "spade" a "spade" and I will remain that person if I am elected. You see, if I am elected, I recognize that the voters are putting a trust in me that I will do all I can to improve our schools for all children in Guilford County regardless of gender, race, financial status, or ability. I recognize that if I am elected the voters are putting a trust in me that I will be a responsible steward of the taxpayers dollars that go towards schools.  I recognize that if I am elected the voters are putting a trust in me that I will not give up or make excuses when finances may be tight. And, you know what as well, I recognize that if I am elected, I will be accountable to all of the voters in District 3 to live up to that trust. Even more importantly, I will be accountable to the two smiling faces of my children when I get home every night.  I owe it to those 2 faces and to all the other little faces in District 3, that as their elected school board member, I do all I can to make sure they get the public educations that they deserve. I take this accountability very seriously and it will provide further fuel to my fire to make a positive change.

With all of that said, I also recognize that things are not going to turn around over night.  There are a lot of changes that need to be made and likely some changes that we try will fail. The fact of the matter is that no one is perfect. But, you know what, when those changes fail we need to take ownership of the failure, learn from the failure, and ensure the failure does not occur again. Also, when we don't get the money we request from funding sources, we need to make sure we don't dwell on a lack of funding.  It simply would not be productive.  It also would not be productive for us to just blame the failure of ideas or funding on an "attack on our schools." Taking that position just sets too low of a bar for our schools. Indeed, what it does is equate to accept an absurd setting where we are ok with the fact our schools are not as good as we would like them to be. Such a setting is not good enough for any of our students in Guilford County, including my children.  Therefore, I promise I will be accountable and I will not make excuses. As I said, I will call a "spade" a "spade."

Now time for my request. I have spoken on several panels already and will speak on more in the coming weeks leading to the election on March 15. My request is that you do what you can to attend one or more of these panels. I request you attend so you not hear only from me, but from the other candidates. This School Board election is a pivotal one in Guilford County.  The School Board has been reformed with different districts and a different size so there is going to be a change. Accordingly, it is of the utmost importance that all voters are educated when they hit the ballot boxes on March 15, or before. I hope you will go to these events and listen to me, to my opposition, and to other candidates. A lot of us have different ideas. Some of us have different reasons we are running. Some of us are more political than others. Its your right to listen to us and make up your mind yourself on who you think will do the best job. I hope you will make up your mind by listening to us,. Don't just look at who has a picture taken with some other politician or who says that some other person supports them. After all, it is the candidate you are voting for, not the other person in the picture. And it is your job to pick out the right candidate, not someone else's job.

What you will find from me if you attend some of these events is that my positions and points of emphasis stay the same regardless of the audience. That happens because I speak from the heart on these topics. What you will find from me is that I am running because I am a concerned and engaged Dad, not a politician. What you will find from me is that I am passionate about this cause to make education better for all Guilford County Students. What you will find from me is that I believe I am running for the right reason, which is to make our kids education system better.  What you will find from me is that the ideas that I put out there are my ideas that I have researched and that I believe in wholeheartedly, not ideas that I have heard from others or ideas that I am putting out there just because I think people want to hear them.  What you will find from me is that I am the best candidate for District 3 in Guilford County.

As for events, I am having a Meet and Greet event on Saturday night, February 20, at the Rio Grande in Oak Ridge. More details are on my campaign page. 

I would also note the following candidate forums that will provide a good opportunity to hear from all candidates:

• CFGC Frontline Forum- 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday, February 23 at the Oak Branch Conference and Event Center, 23 N. Branch Drive, Greensboro, NC 27407
• Guilford County Men's Club Forum- 7:00 p.m. on Friday, February 26 at the Guilford County Republican Headquarters (this event is tentative).
• Northwest Republican Women's Forum-Thursday, March 10-Time and Place to be announced.

Why Voters Should Vote For Me For District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 3)- I am a Dad, and not just that, I am an Autism Dad.

Reason 3 that I think voters should vote for me for District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education is a reason that definitely separates me from the other candidates.  While at first blush this difference between me and the other candidates may not seem all that material, but when flushed out further I believe it provides me with an attribute that none of the other candidates can match. Without further adieu,  Reason 3 is because I am an Autism Dad.

Let me explain why I think the fact that I am an Autism Dad is so important.  I'd start by saying I do not think that I was a bad person before Charlie was diagnosed as being on the spectrum. Nor do I think that I was a person who didn't care about others before Charlie's diagnosis. However, I will admit that there were, and still are, parts of me in these areas that can improve. When we received Charlie's diagnosis, my perspective on the world drastically changed and the fire that fuels me to make a difference started burning all that much hotter.  Notably, I am now instantly that much more empathetic to the situations of others when I see them in a position of need.  This isn't just your typical empathy that I feel is ingrained in hopefully all of us.  No, instead I believe it is a heightened sense of empathy that leads us to live better and fuller lives.  It is a heightened sense of empathy that lights a fire in us that fuels us to do all we can to make the world better.

I have learned over the past couple of years that most Special Needs parents seem to have in common with each other a "We have been there, done that" connection. This means that when we see troublesome situations, such as when a child is throwing an uncontrolled fit in a restaurant or store, we are always on the look out to help the parents and to let them know that they are not alone in dealing with the situation. There is no  "what is wrong with that family or that child" and "why can't they control that child" coming from us.  Instead, we, the Special Needs parents, look to provide support rather than nasty comments or looks.  Yes, we are a community that supports all of those in their times of need whether we know the folks or not and whether those folks have kids with similar issues to our or not. Do you know why? I do. It's because we have this heightened sense of empathy derived from the fact we have likely been there and done that.  And, we are unfortunately likely to probably do it again.  

This heightened sense of empathy does great things for us.  Going through a Special Needs diagnosis teaches us to see the world through a different set of eyes.  It teaches us that the world needs to be a better place because our children are going to need a little help to get through it.  As such, we do all that we can not just to make the world a better place for our kids or kids like our kids, but for all kids.  We have no choice but to do it because we owe it to our kids.  You see we know what it is like to have our children have unwarranted low expectations tossed on them.  We hate those unfair expectations and we see how potential limiting they could be so we will do all that we can to get rid of the expectations for not just our kids but for all kids.  We live in a world where we recognize that all children regardless of race, age, financial status, or ability have their own individual struggles and issues that threaten to hold the children back from being successful.  Even though we see those struggles and issues, we recognize those struggles and issues are just speed bumps that can be overcome with a mix of hard work and support.  We see those struggles and issues shouldn't just be ignored or taken as an immovable object but should instead be flipped into attributes that can make people stand out from the pack in positive ways.  We see the strength and potential in every child and we want to do all we can to bring that strength out.

I highlight all of this again because I wholeheartedly believe that Charlie's autism diagnosis has made me a better person.  It was that diagnosis that developed the need in me to get involved in the Autism Insurance movement in North Carolina and help other families.  It was that diagnosis that drives me as I have started and continued on this adventure to try to get elected as a member of the Guilford County School Board. You see, I never wanted to be a politician. It was never a goal of mine to get elected to a political office.  In fact, I struggle at times now doing the schmoozing and handshaking that comes from running for political office. I recognize I am not the smoothest in a big room at gladhanding, I acknowledge that and recognize it must come from the fact that I am in many ways an introvert. That said, I am not letting that hold me back.

Do you know what I have found that I think I am pretty good at? Talking to groups about the issues that I think are important in this race.  These talks have actually been the easiest part of this election process.  I think this is the case because when I am giving those speeches or answering questions I am so excited to give my views and my answers about how I can make our schools better for all children, not just my own kids.  I get excited over the thought that I am trying my best to be put in a position where I can make a difference in our schools and make sure that all children get the educations that they deserve.  Although I hope I do not come across as cocky, I admit that I do have the self confidence to think that what I have been through in my life has given me the experience and insight to really make a difference like none of the other candidates can.  

You see, I am running because I want to do all I can to make our schools better and I think I can do that.  The reason I am running all comes back to this heightened sense of empathy that I have that drives me to do all I can to make our schools better for all our kids.  Not that the other candidates don't have empathy, I would definitely not say that about them. But what I would say is that going through it has provided me with attributes and a drive that I do not think I would have had if I had not been put in the situation.

As an aside, I think it would be great to have someone in my situation on our School Board because our School Board is sorely lacking a voice that understands the needs of the Guilford County Special Needs community. I will be that voice if I am elected.  That said, it's not my intention to just be the voice for the Special Needs community, it is my intention to be the voice of all parents and children in Guilford County and to do all I can to make sure all children get the quality educations that they deserve.

I'd close this post by saying its not my intention to use this office as a stepping stone to further different office.  Nor am I running for this office because I have a great love for politics.  Nope, I am an Autism Dad and as such I am running because I want to do what I can to make our schools better. I hope the voters will elect me so I can capitalize on that opportunity that is before me.  If the voters do choose me, trust me, the heightened sense of empathy I have described with drive me to make positive changes to our school system so all of our children in Guilford County get the educations that they deserve.     

Why Voters Should Vote for Me for District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education (Part 2) and What I Will Do If I Am Elected (Part 2)- Just a Hint, I Am Not One To Give Up

It's time for my second installment of "Why Voters Should Vote for Me for District 3 of the Guilford County Board of Education."  This installment also includes another installment of "What I Will Do If I Am Elected."

Campaign season is picking up and I am spending a lot of time speaking on various panels and at forums.  One thing that I have heard at these events from other speakers is that as a School Board we will not have control over certain things related to education so we just have to live with the decisions that are made with respect to those things.  This "Give Up" and "Not Our Responsibility" attitude drives me crazy.  I want to make it clear that I am not naive on this topic.  Trust me, I understand that local school boards do not get to make all decisions that relate to the education system that the local school board is responsible for.  But, I also understand that local school boards do have the ability to lobby and to persuade those who are making the other decisions in order to make sure the right decisions are made. 

I want to provide an example of the point that I am trying to make.  One issue that I hear a lot about as not being a local issue is Common Core.  For those who may not know what Common Core is, it is the set of educational standards that have been adopted in many states, including North Carolina. Simply put, these standards govern how our teachers teach and what our students study because the students have to meet the standards in order to advance.  According to most research on the point that I have seen, these standards were developed in order to teach students the skills and knowledge that they needed to be successful in post-secondary education.  There are many issues with these standards including, among other things, (i) the fact that they require our school system to collect an incredible amount of data on our children that our school system really has no business having, (ii) the fact that the standards are designed with a "one size fits all" scheme when children all really learn in their own unique ways at their own unique paces so that they can move on to their own unique place in life which may or may not involve post-secondary education, (iii) the fact that the standards were designed at a national level with a very limited amount of input on the state level and pretty much no input on the local level. There are many many more issues with Common Core but Common Core but I will move on.  However, I will say that when taken all together, these issues show that Common Core has turned out to be a blight on our state and local educational system.  

As an aside, I read an article that highlights this Common Core standard for kindergarten:

“Compose and decompose numbers from 11 to 19 into ten ones and some further ones, e.g., by using objects or drawings, and record each composition or decomposition by a drawing or equation (such as 18 = 10 + 8); understand that these numbers are composed of ten ones and one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, or nine ones.”

I'm not quite sure I know what the means (though I can figure it out), so I can't fathom how my five year old who will be in kindergarten next year is supposed to understand what this means. Keep in mind also, this is for kindergarten.  If you want a good laugh, just read the FAQ put out by the North Carolina State Department of Instruction here.  Pay close attention to the question about "Opting Out," it shows what the North Carolina State Department of Instruction really thinks about parents.

Getting back to the point, how do we get rid of Common Core.  Well, as I said earlier, the Common Core standards were adopted on a state level, so it is not feasible to believe that a local school board, such as the Guilford County Board of Education, could just say "We are not going to follow Common Core anymore." But, that does not mean that the Guilford County Board of Education can't do anything about it. What could the Board do and what will it do if I am elected?  As a Board, we will make sure that our voice of opposition is heard to Common Core. We will exude all the influence we have with the General Assembly to get it to do all it can to get the State Board of Education to reverse its footing on Common Core.  I have no doubt that the members of the General Assembly will be with us on this front as they took steps last summer to get the ball rolling.  But, we will make sure the ball continues to roll and rolls right through the State Board of Education. We will form partnerships with our County Commissioners and other local school boards in this state and other county commissions to make our voice demanding change louder so that the State Board of Education will here us as one.  We will do what we can to encourage our parents to become vocal and demand that our kids get better than what Common Core provides. After all, how can our State Board of Education feel comfortable in locking the parents of our students out of the process.  I know I certainly will not allow that to happen on a local level if I am elected.

Hopefully we will have a new State Superintendent of Education who will partner with us and other local school boards to develop standards that work on our local levels.  If we aren't so lucky to have a new State Superintendent, with what I hope will be a strong coalition we will demand that the current State Superintendent reverse her position even if it means losing her membership in her precious trade group that owns the copyright over the common core standards.  

What won't we do if I get elected? We will not sit here and say it is an issue decided on the State level and agree that we just have to live with it.  Again, simply put, that tact is not good enough for my kids and it is not good enough for any of the other kids in Guilford County Schools. 

This is getting long so I will take it back to why you should vote for me. It's really easy. I do not take no for an answer easily. Giving up is not an option when it comes to our kids. Trust me, you will not see a give up attitude from me.  After all, when I got involved a couple of years ago with the Autism Insurance movement in North Carolina I was told I was wasting my time.  I was told change would never happen because Blue Cross wielded so much power and did not want it to happen.  I didn't give up and I, along with lots of other dedicated advocates in North Carolina, continued to fight for change. Fast forward to this summer when it appeared change was coming on the Autism Insurance front but that the change was not all good as some "autism groups" had agreed to language that was not good enough for our kids. Again, I was told that because those groups had agreed to the language that we were not going to get it to change. Again, I didn't take no for an answer. Instead, I worked with advocates and organized parents to make sure our voices were heard.  How did it turn out? Not perfectly, but we now have an Autism Insurance Bill signed into law in North Carolina and that bill is better than what the "autism groups" originally agreed to. How did we get the better bill? How do we By not giving up!